4 Guaranteed Ways to Avoid Website Success | For Pessimists Only

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So you have your very own website. You’ve entered the world of business on the Internet. It’s your site and you can do whatever you want with it. You can post pictures of your kids frolicking in the back yard, or going into their first day at day care (https://teddykids.nl/). Your dog can be your website mascot and your Mom can even throw in one of her favorite recipes every once in a while. That should be a sure-fire way to website success. Right?

Website successes

If your glass is half empty you need these tips to avoid website success.

The biggest entitlement that you have as a website owner is that you, as the webmaster, have full responsibility for its success (or failure). It is totally up to you to determine what happens next. There are always those that think of the glass half full. For those of you living that philosophy here are the top four ways to make your website fail.

1. Do not ever Update your Website

You’ve spent quite a bit of time getting your website up and running. You carefully decided what you wanted on each page. If someone visits your website today they should be able to come back in six months and find everything exactly the same. Nothing should have changed.

Your website visitors will know what to expect. They could probably just check back every year or so to make sure you haven’t added anything. Whatever you do, do not post any new blog posts. That is just a silly thought.

2. Fit as much as you possibly can on Every Website Page

A cluttered website is a sure-fire way to make sure your site fails. Load it up with lots of images. Have call to actions every place possible. Throw in plenty of banners with flashing lights. For good measure have pop-ups to completely and utterly annoy your site visitors. Make it difficult for people to find your contact information. I doubt if you want people bothering you.

3. Do not Hire anyone in the United States for your Internet Marketing

Website Success

You’re sure to enjoy working with Internet Marketing companies from third world countries!

There are plenty of people in third world countries that will be happy to help you with your marketing strategy. They are so cheap it is almost unbelievable.

They also know a lot of different ways for quick results. It doesn’t really matter that in the long run you could be banned completely from Google search results.

Remember that they will be working the opposite hours that you normally do. I’m sure you’ll love working with them at three o’clock in the morning. Language barriers? No problem! Communicating is overrated. Their writing is simply spectacular too…if you love unintelligible articles.

3. Never Answer any Questions or Reply to Comments

website questions

DO NOT under any circumstances answer any website questions!

Your time is very valuable. Wasting time on answering stupid questions can be unbearable. If you have to answer some of them just be as rude and discourteous as possible and they will probably leave you alone after that. And remember, it takes less than one second to hit that delete button. It’s quite a liberating feeling when you do that.

This should get you started making sure your website stays on page 79 of the search engine results. You’ll have plenty of free time now that your website is up and running. You might not have any money to spare though, so you might see if your Mom and Dad are up to having you move back home. In addition, have a peek at this website – SecurityInfo to know something new in terms of security information.

Have any other website failure tips to share? Let us know in the comment section below.

 

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1 Comment

  1. PC Health Boost on May 17, 2013 at 11:53 am

    With the new Penguin 2.0 update coming up, we will all learn a lot about not approving comments and clearing out spam comments soon. Thanks for this piece of humour.

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